Living in Harmony…

Balancing health and the heart’s need to be with people is a bummer! Yet if I let my guard down, go out and do something I pay with a fever, which for me is a real crappy feeling! And cause to make myself a turtle in it’s shell all over again. Choir is starting again, our few weeks respite over so quickly. Our CHRISTmas Party is Sunday and rehearsal begins Monday night! Somehow I have to sit apart and not feel like one carrying a dread disease just so that I don’t get sick and have to miss practise! I’ll figure it out, and my choir buddies will help out, too. They are such a caring bunch, so concerned and blessed to be able to pray and think of me thruout the week! It’s a shot in the arm just to be there!

I haven’t seen my GRANDdaughter for 2 weeks because they were sick and we were sick…Ava and I on the same sked to stay well. But my DIL has taken to shooting me a pic everyday, so I don’t miss it all. What a big girl Ava has become over CHRISTmas! Standing alone, she’s actually using the walker Stroller “Santa Nana” got her . She has this table busybox too, that she makes her way around, the only way to approach it isto stand> Never one to be left out she made it her purpose to get up there to play! Bennie is my bivouac Buddy! He’s crawing like the best marine and gets EXACTLY where he wants-to be;) The big boys are bearing up, as it’s even cold in Florida, taking a few days fo from the new bikes Santa brought them to play games and try to stay out of each others hair.

Right now all eyes are on the game, you know The “Stiller’s vs  them Baltimore “crows” on Sunday. Personally I NEED a permanti’s sandwich to help me cheer…that is if I even allow myself to be in the room. Seems every-time I pay attention, our boys get befuddled. Remember the sack on Sunday last of Big Ben…yep, I sat down to eat with Bruce just then! I know, I know…find something else to do. eve if we go somewhere to watch the game, I’ll find somebody to talk to or something. No messing with The “Burgh’s Stiller’s”!

So health, the wealth of GRANDchildren, and the wisdom to know when to make myself scarce…not too bad an aim for 2009 ..Stay tuned more  to come!

Yesterday I was treated to a dream come true! This Christmas, due to my crappy health, I was pretty much a shut-in. No Mall, not much shopping, even missing my GRANDdaughter’s first encounter with the Saint Of The Yule, Nicholas Himself! So when Susan , my little Sister, asked me to go to the stage show, The Jersey Boys, I jumped on the chance, not thinking about how I’d accomplish this with out fainting(dizzy head from iron poor blood!), just so excited!

I’d had a hard week, with short breath and fuzzy head, lots of napping and the dreaded night sweats, I decided to work on my dress that would be worn to the show. I ‘ve lost so much weight since buying it, I needed to fix that…I love my sewing machine! It came out beautifully. Next I solved a problem finding a sweater while shopping in my own closet…perfect! I wanted just the right earring…decided to make them, but as usually happens when you form the thing in your head before knowing what’s out here…no dice. Undaunted, found just the right thing in my jewelry box, so rarely do I get “dressed up” anymore I forgotten them as well. Girls, every now & again, “play “with your jewelry just so you know what’s there!
So the outfit was right, My new plum coat worked so well to and off I went…Bruce dropping me off at Pamela’s in Shadyside to meet up with the girls for brunch.
Now I have to explain why Bruce dropped me off. I have stopped driving much as my head & I get so tired, it’s sometimes hard toget back home…So , onward. If you want THE BEST pancakes ever, try this little place called Pamela’s on Walnut in Shadyside, a section of Pittsburgh. OMG! This crepe like platter of two HUGE cakes was presented rolled packed with fresh strawberries, sour cream and brown sugar, presented with a very generous dollop of whipped creme on top! I want to tell, I’m not a pancake person, but this was HEAVEN! Most of the girls had omelets too, with huge portions of cheesy hash browns. I’m telling you this is somewhere you must go in Pittsburgh!
So off to the show we went, our appetites sated. Of course the Benedum was richly regaled as usual, such a beautiful venue. And then the overture! Man, I was forty years younger in front of my girlfriend’s TV,waiting with baited breath for th voice! The music was dead on, every note true to the original score. And slowly the story unfolds with, at last, The Four Seasons. The trial and tribulations of four kids from jersey State, lots of laughs, and even some throat gulping downward turns made for a very quick two hours! Through out it all, that voice, the beautiful high notes coming fro the throat of this young man, Joseph Leo Bwarie. You all know I sing, so this was key for me…I was insane with the joy of the music and this kid will go far! But it was the whole picture, the story written by Brickman and Elice and ,of course the Gaudio, Crewe music and lyrics being the original, just perfected the whole experience! The buzz heard thruout the crowd..”I could see that allover again right now!”

I made it! No problems, remembering to deep breathe(thank-you Roger Wagner,voice coach & Friend, Village Singers). I came home walking on air! It was needed to make me FEEL that holiday warmth we all long for at this time of the year. Thanks, Sue, such a wonderful gift, you have no idea! I owe ya…go see a show, grow your heart…it’s life-giving.

“But you have received the Holy Spirit, and he lives within you, so you don’t need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Spirit teaches you everything you need to know, and what he teaches is true—it is not a lie. So just as he has taught you, remain in fellowship with Christ." (1 Jn 2:27, NLT)

How many of us have sat for countless hours listening to a leader tell us what to do to REMAIN SAVED? Yesterday I had a conversation  with a friend about some health products and we wound up talking about my own health. He made the comment that we just have to pray for Father to heal all those organs that just won’t work and  had to stop him there. He’s a dear Friend and he cares when I don’t feel up to snuff. I asked him to not  pray for healing for me and this is why:

A few years ago Father and I spoke about this very topic, and HE asked me,” It comes to this Daughter, do you want to be healed or do you want to see my face?” There was no hesitation at all, I answered my DAD that to see HIS face would be better than any perfected shell I could wear in this world. Think of it…HIS  face! A day or so later at a prayer service a gifted woman came to me that was speaking came to laid her hands on me and stopped took me by he shoulders and Said"do you want healed or to see HIS face?" She told me she’s seen Father have this talk with me and wanted to know what my answer was. I told her that to see his countenance would be better than anything this world could offer. And she gently laid me out for about 20 minutes in The Spirit.

That was shortly before we left the church as an institution. I have to witness to you that being in the countenance of The Lord God is better than any healed  body! His Spirit stays with me always, quick to move in when these fleshly thorns wear too hard on me. He’s given me more, invested more in me by our relationship than I can count the ways. Just the prayer, the work,patience, and scope of love thru the eyes of HIM is my whole world.His Spirit teaches me more in a second than ever I learned from  men speaking "his wisdom" from any pulpit!

Take time to realize He is speaking everything you ned to you all the moments of your life. Live His taeching, love his people(ALL people), trust that you know what you know because FATHER has given it to you. Just a thought for mulling, later…

I cannot believe I began this title in January of 2008! I realize I have let a year slip by, ahrdly stopping to check in, and I NEED to try harder. This year will bring change, whatever that means toa new President. To me, it brings a trying for social security disability, travel, babysitting and an endeavor to strengthen this outer shell that seems to be off on it’s own walk.

My pride is in my DH, my kids, my   GRANDS and the many I include in our extended family. I live to serve and love them. I’m called thought to a different thing, to love ALL. Somehow each soul must realize, from me, that I care about who they are and believe in them. Then, thru me, perhaps they will come to know My DAD who loves them all better than they even dare to hope! I must get out of myself more; Live and HELP live. That’s all…Come with me on this new path, we’ll talk and walk together…

“Trust and be not afraid. Life is full of wonder. Open child-trusting eyes to all I am doing for you. Fear not.”

I stumbled on this Little book awhile back and so enjoy the wisdom I find within it. These 2 anonymous ladies, faithful praying hearts, simply wrote down what they heard from Father on a day to day basis. It’s incredible to see scripture in practise and take it to your own heart. It makes my life so much more.

With all life’s up & downs keeping in touch with Father, moment to moment, keeps me centered and able tostay on the path I’ve been given. Taking care of Father’s Little ones, and forgotten ones comes as second nature, I can’t believe it’s ease! Friends, people disagree, and we fight over stupid thought, but when push comes to shove, listening is the answer and giving in love will conquer even the smallest mind.

I pray you find the youth in your eye, looking at all and wondering with awe how it all works together fro you. Fahter has it well in hand…

Happy Thanksgiving

We changed the clocks this morning, now it’s eerily gloomy at 5:11Pm. We all have to get used to changes, the Seasons changing help us through that chore. In my middle years change is somthing that snuck up on me. All of a sudden , I’m the Old Lady in line saying I remember when…And looking at the street changing, realizing it’s the children of old friends that are the New People. When did that happen?

Looking at our world, our country, on the brink of a change that we may not really want, I have to stop and reaally wonder about things. Can people really hate it here so much that they fail to remember how Eastern Europeans fought to get out from under governments that care them right out of their freedom. Can we really stand for it? I believe in our strength of conviction and our inborn need to know wha we know and act accordingly. Can a country based on the Love of G_D really bow to a amn who allows himself to be called messiah? And will we allow our beliefs to be ground into so much grist and thrown out with the chaff? My inner self cannot fathom this counter reality. I feel like I’m watching a far fetched Outer Limits.

We will see what world emerges On Wednesday. I’m intimidated by the lack of conviction. But I VOTE…Please, do the same!

Yep, I’m back! Now Granny to 4 GRANkids, I’ve been busy, too busy for phylosophy even journaling.

 I’m not particularly sure what will come out this time, it’s bits from the last six months to catch you up. Catching up on both  my life & brain…tall order! We have four little ones in our circle now. Ty & Dru added Ben and Ava came along to make Jow & Tiff’s camp a threesome. Anne & Co had moved back here long enough to have Ben, but the cold got to them and they have returned to the land of sun and sand. It’s good to know where you belong. We have had so much fun with four GRANDS around us, there is no gift quite like it before Heaven!

Bruce is working from home and I am… there it is. The fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue gets me some days. But keeping a stiff upper lip abd putting one foot in front of the other, I get to the next day. Fahter gives me little BITS of sunshine everyday to make the apin less. It helps. I’m singing again, it’s hard to sit in the chaie with ramrod posture and correct breathing fro three hours, but I do it mostly. I have found not driving helps. My good friend Jan picks me up, I help with the running of the choir business stuff, then sing and Jan, Dolores and I come on home. The choir are my biggest cheerleaders, they care for me and pray for me as do I for them. We have a phenomenal relationship, my songsters and I. As we have trials, we lay them before the group and ask that prayer follow each of us. How much more like a loving church could I find?

I hear stirrings that some question our faith. There are those who sit in judging of others, who very rarely look upon themselves. If done the greyish cast their own hearts have taken on would cause all who truly look upon them to worry! Why is it so hard for some who believe themselves to be Christ’ brothers and sister find it hard to accept them that worship differently would still have rooms in Heaven too? I wonder. I find that Christ giving and God’s receiving have done the reconciliation, no more making sacrifice necessary. Love is quite the answer. If loving eyes, the real loving eyes of The Father were used in all situations, no more animosity would remain between the Children of God. It’s not New Age, very truly, it’s a thought thought out 2000 years ago, in a garden amidst sweat and sleeping companions. How can we not honor the very existence of Christ, Our brother, and Father God by our not loving the stuffing out of all peoples. To an end, yes…we have different opinions, as many as there are peoples. But even if there were as many of us huManbeings as there is sand in the sea, there would be love enough in the eyes of God, Still, for each  silly one of us. Keep reading, I’ll be back…

In choosing some songs for my car cd, I picked a song from our computer list called “Dance WIth Me”, thinking of the Orleans oldie. I got that one, but I also stumbled on a life changing, faith affirming song by the same name. This one is written by Evan Earwicker…the man can PRAISE!!!

So often I have been caught up in the passion of My Father’s love and felt a romance deeper than can be explained. Imagine my comfort knowing there will never be ANYTHING that I can do to rob Him of our relationship. He will always love me fiercely, passionately and give me all the romance my heart can ever long for! This Easter, this Resurrection celebration Dance in the light of His Throne…Dance with me…J

Dance With Me

Words and music by Evan Earwicker
Verse 1
Many songs will fade away
And few things will remain
Melodies and Harmonies will change
Melodies and Harmonies will change
But I’m hearing a new song
I’m hearing a new song

Prechorus:
I’m beginning to hear the angels cry holy
Love song of God, rise in me
I’m surrounded by You here in Your glory,
Love song of God rise in me

Chorus:
I wanna be romanced by the King of the ages
I don’t want to sing of a passion I’ve never known
I want to get lost in the beauty of Jesus
To dance through the night around Your Throne

Bridge:
So dance with me
So dance with me

goto good ol’ YouTube to listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4Uti-C5prY

It’s turning again, this wheel we live in. People we love are coming and going, lives ending and beginning. Our path gets muddied yet dries further on down the way. Hormones, feelings, memories and opinions all drive us to walk each step of the way, and they work to do two things. On the one hand they can make us falter. Do we turn this way or that, listening to the inner turmoil that would trip us up? They become a rock in the midst of the walk that keeps us from moving quickly away from a dip in the path, making it harder to see just the way the road bends. They steal our joy, robbing us of the smile lines we treasure in eighty years of living.

But they can also bring about a state of grace, giving us hope, courage, and strength to weather the road. I’ve lost most of my family to time and age. I count on the ones I have left for the joy Life brings. Why do we wonder where we sit in the hierarchy of family? Why do we muddy our paths with feelings that take away from the walk. I love my family, each has their own place that cannot be taken over by another. To move one would upset the balance of the rest. The Best we can do is hope to seethecircle,add more to it. Moving over is just to allow another one to be brought in, more love to connect us, the bigger the wheel the stronger we get, not more thinner and more hammered down.

Life changes, we cannot grieve too long over the those bumps, but close the circle, and make it move us to where the future takes us. Come on along!

.